Thursday, May 12, 2011

"Falling Apart For The Good" by Jaeson Ma

SOURCE: LINK


I've read a post that left me like this: "WOW!!!" JUST AWESOME!

"Sometimes in life you can’t understand why things happen when they happen. This season of my life has definitely been the best and the worst. All the things I've ever dreamed of or wanted have been given and taken away. Everything that could go right has suddenly gone wrong. But you know, weirdest thing is I have so much peace about it all. I used to bug out when things went wrong in my life, instead, I guess as you grow older you begin to realize that bad things are sometimes the best things that could ever happen to you. God many times will allow everything in your life to fall apart just to remind you that the things of this world that we are so desperately dependent upon are really not that important. Instead what is important is many times not understood till we are ridden of these other distractions. There are so many things that we think we need so bad when in actuality we need so little.


We get so caught up in what we need to do that we forget where we are and who we are. We are not human doings, we are human beings. The being part is what I think most of us have the most difficulty with. What does it mean to just be? To be yourself and not care what others think. It is easy to say that but it is not easy to be that. It is that kind of courage to be your true self, flaws and all that makes people shine in this world, that meaning those who are not afraid to be imperfect. The problem with religion, the problem I find many times with Christian culture is we expect people to be perfect when it is impossible to do so. This is what makes Christians unrelatable to the world. Human beings can not relate to perfection, they relate to imperfection. We connect through pain not perfection. Compassion can be expressed when there is pain that is felt. Life is not meant to be lived perfectly it is meant to be lived fully. When we expect ourselves and others to be perfect we rob ourselves of life, we end up getting caught up in shame, guilt, fear, control and isolation. We end up faking rather than truly living. We end up living behind pretentious masks that we create that keep us from being who we really are. I think this is what irritates me about Christian radio at times because the only songs that are played are in the same key, same chords, same words and same message …. The message isn't untrue, it is the truth, but where is the human element, where is the pain, the suffering, the confusion, the discourse, the vulnerability, the authenticity, the passion? Why is it all so predictable? Why is it that I relate sometimes more to 2pac, Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, Kurt Cobain, Otis Redding than I do most of the artists on Christian radio? This is why I love King David and the book of Psalms, it is REAL. You can feel and relate to David’s highs and lows, the dude is the farthest thing from perfect yet he loves God with all his heart, soul, strength and mind. That’s what I’m talking about, that’s the song that I want to hear and I can relate to. It is life’s poetry that keeps us intimately interested, it is expecting the unexpected, the ups and downs, the tapestry of human experience that fills our worlds with color. King David was not a human doing, nor was he just a human being, he was a human LIVING. In today’s Christian church standards he would be written off as a sinner, not to be trusted, never to minister, but I wonder if David is exactly the kind of person that God chooses to use for His glory? Cause at the end of the day it isn't about how perfect we are but it is about how perfect His love is. You see, religion brings man glory, religion to me is the need to be or the effort to be perfect, it leads to rules, regulations, and bondage. But you see, grace brings God glory, it is focused on how good God is not how good we are, grace or getting what we don’t deserve is a gift from God that shows imperfect humans just how glorious, loving and amazing our God is. Amazing grace how sweet the sound…that saved a wretch like me. Grace is a sweet sound that is so seldom sung, so rarely talked about now a days. I am far from perfect, I am a work in progress, but you know, my goal is not to be perfect in life but my goal is to be grateful in life. Love is the greatest motivator for change. If this is true than love is my religion. I don’t follow rules, I don’t follow the opinions of man, I follow Jesus. Can I be vulnerable here? True courage comes when we are not afraid to truly be ourselves, when we stop living someone else’s life and we begin to follow our heart. I've lost a lot recently, but man, I feel more free than ever and I thank God for it. I’m older but I feel younger. I’m hurt but I feel alive. I've lost but I’ve gained. I have nothing and it is in this moment I feel like I have everything. It is a great feeling to not be afraid. To be able to be imperfect and know that you belong still and are accepted. To realize no matter what you do or don’t do right or wrong that God understands and loves you the same either way. Mmm, I feel good cause right now I feel God. Sometimes in life you can’t understand why things happen when they happen. This season of my life has definitely been the best and the worst. All the things I’ve ever dreamed of or wanted have been given and taken away. Everything that could go right has suddenly gone wrong. But you know, weirdest thing is I have so much peace about it all. I used to bug out when things went wrong in my life, instead, I guess as you grow older you begin to realize that bad things are sometimes the best things that could ever happen to you. 


God many times will allow everything in your life to fall apart just to remind you that the things of this world that we are so desperately dependent upon are really not that important. Instead what is important is many times not understood till we are ridden of these other distractions. There are so many things that we think we need so bad when in actuality we need so little. We get so caught up in what we need to do that we forget where we are and who we are. We are not human doings, we are human beings. The being part is what I think most of us have the most difficulty with. What does it mean to just be? To be yourself and not care what others think. It is easy to say that but it is not easy to be that. It is that kind of courage to be your true self, flaws and all that makes people shine in this world, that meaning those who are not afraid to be imperfect. The problem with religion, the problem I find many times with Christian culture is we expect people to be perfect when it is impossible to do so. This is what makes Christians un relatable to the world. Human beings can not relate to perfection, they relate to imperfection. We connect through pain not perfection. Compassion can be expressed when there is pain that is felt. Life is not meant to be lived perfectly it is meant to be lived fully. When we expect ourselves and others to be perfect we rob ourselves of life, we end up getting caught up in shame, guilt, fear, control and isolation. We end up faking rather than truly living. We end up living behind pretentious masks that we create that keep us from being who we really are. I think this is what irritates me about Christian radio at times because the only songs that are played are in the same key, same chords, same words and same message... The message isn’t untrue, it is the truth, but where is the human element, where is the pain, the suffering, the confusion, the discourse, the vulnerability, the authenticity, the passion? Why is it all so predictable? Why is it that I relate sometimes more to 2pac, Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, Kurt Cobain, Otis Redding than I do most of the artists on Christian radio? This is why I love King David and the book of Psalms, it is REAL. You can feel and relate to David’s highs and lows, the dude is the farthest thing from perfect yet he loves God with all his heart, soul, strength and mind. That’s what I’m talking about, that’s the song that I want to hear and I can relate to. It is life’s poetry that keeps us intimately interested, it is expecting the unexpected, the ups and downs, the tapestry of human experience that fills our worlds with color. King David was not a human doing, nor was he just a human being, he was a human LIVING. 


In today’s Christian church standards he would be written off as a sinner, not to be trusted, never to minister, but I wonder if David is exactly the kind of person that God chooses to use for His glory? Cause at the end of the day it isn’t about how perfect we are but it is about how perfect His love is. You see, religion brings man glory, religion to me is the need to be or the effort to be perfect, it leads to rules, regulations, and bondage. But you see, grace brings God glory, it is focused on how good God is not how good we are, grace or getting what we don’t deserve is a gift from God that shows imperfect humans just how glorious, loving and amazing our God is. Amazing grace how sweet the sound…that saved a wretch like me. Grace is a sweet sound that is so seldom sung, so rarely talked about now a days. I am far from perfect, I am a work in progress, but you know, my goal is not to be perfect in life but my goal is to be grateful in life. Love is the greatest motivator for change. If this is true than love is my religion. I don’t follow rules, I don’t follow the opinions of man, I follow Jesus. Can I be vulnerable here? True courage comes when we are not afraid to truly be ourselves, when we stop living someone else’s life and we begin to follow our heart. I’ve lost a lot recently, but man, I feel more free than ever and I thank God for it. I’m older but I feel younger. I’m hurt but I feel alive. I’ve lost but I’ve gained. I have nothing and it is in this moment I feel like I have everything. It is a great feeling to not be afraid. To be able to be imperfect and know that you belong still and are accepted. To realize no matter what you do or don’t do right or wrong that God understands and loves you the same either way. Mmm, I feel good cause right now I feel God."

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