Tuesday, October 18, 2011

How to lose a person!

God did not call to let people use you. That is not what love is.

WHAT A RELIEF! I've read these words some years ago! And I am glad, because it set me freeLove is not letting people to just use you. Love is being led by the spirit about who to help and how to help them and how much  to help them and what to do for them and what not to do for them.

In having the sincerest desire to give a hand of help or hope to somebody, you can seriously mess up your life. But God is not asking you to ruin or to let somebody ruin your life, esp. somebody who doesn't even really want to change or to be helped
!!! Here are some words that I've found typed in my diary few years ago.

:: Helping somebody is not always doing everything for them and leaving them with nothing to do. It's ridiculous to be in a relationship where somebody is doing all the taking and you are doing all the giving. That's not godly. Sometimes you help people SO much that you build an expectation in them that later we can't keep up with. You start out like maybe too fast and then doing too much for somebody. YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL HOW YOU BEGIN A RELATIONSHIP. If you pamper [to pamper: to treat or gratify with extreme or excessive indulgence, kindness, or care] your servant in the beginning of the relationship, then you are going to have that person expecting that same pampering all the time no matter how tired or broken you can be. That somebody will probably care less. The truth is that you cannot keep all these up for long. You have to make a change, which will more likely bring the other one devastated and mad at you. You will not be able to figure out why they are mad at you. But you do have to let them take some (or better the whole) responsibility on their own. When you feel that you do everything for somebody and they are doing nothing, back off!!! ::

We should find out what is our part in helping, but not leave our life, all our stuff and help. Don’t have to feel guilty if you feel that you cannot do the whole thing. BOUNDARIES ARE A GOD WAY TO HELP TO PROTECT US, TO BE IN OUR SAFETY ZONE . Luke 11:27
Guard your heart! Be careful whom you let in your life. Don't get involved into vampire relationships. Sure, there are times when you get involved with somebody where your whole role is just trying to help them and keep giving to them. But there is not healthy relationship that can go on like that forever. Sooner or later there has to be a change towards that person is not subtracting from your life but there are also adding to your life. It’s great to help, but sooner or later they need to have a little concern about you; it can’t be all one sided. If it is, people get warned up really quickly. 

Leave your heart open yet guard it intensely!