Slave of success!

I've been reading Jaeson Ma a lot lately! SO here’s one of his writings 
that I just adore. Enjoy! ^_^

More often than not, we not only desire to do meaningful things, but we often make the results of our work the criteria of our self-esteem. And then we have not only successes, we become our successes. When we start being too impressed by the results of our work, we begin to let others keep the scorecard in measuring our worth. We let then our successes define our self-worth. The more we allow our accomplishments – the results of our actions – define us, we lose. We lose because we are never sure if we will be able to live up to the expectations which we created by our last successes. In many people’s lives, there is a nearly diabolic chain in which their anxieties grow according to their successes. This dark power has driven many of the greatest artists into self-destruction. When we have sold our identity to the judges of this world, we are bound to become restless, because of a growing need for affirmation and praise. 

When our actions 

have become more 

an expression of fear than of inner freedom, 

we easily become 

the prisoner 

of our self-created 

illusions.

"One step at a time" by Jaeson Ma

I have dreams that I want to achieve, more so, I have things within me that I know must be actualized. All of us have dreams, but dreams can’t become a reality unless we actually do something with what we have. We may have a lot or a little, it doesn’t matter how much, what matters is what we do with what has been given. We are each responsible for doing the best with what God has given to each of us, this is called stewardship. It is recognizing that life is a gift, everything that we are given is a treasure, and we are to be careful to not waste, but to make haste with what has been given and do something useful with it. For me, this can be really difficult, because to focus on what I’m called to do requires me to say no to what I am not called to do. Good is the enemy of great. Useful is the enemy of fruitful. Busyness is the enemy of passion. Activity is the enemy of excellence. There is so much I need to do, but there is also one thing I should do. Walk with God and be myself. Not be everything for everybody else. So I can’t apologize if I can’t respond to every email, return every phone call, meet up for another coffee, because some things need to wait, until I can become my best, I can’t actually be  my best for you. You have to learn to love yourself before you can love others truly. We get sidetracked at times, but it is never too late to get back on track and do what is necessary by ridding ourselves of the unnecessary. Sooner or later, we will get there, but it is all one day at a time, one step at a time.

Be silent. Take a deep breath. Clear you mind. Know what is important. Deny the urgent. Focus on your purpose. Decide. Work with all your heart. Leave behind something worthwhile. Envision the end, but take it one step at a time.

Envy!

ENVY

Have you ever envied somebody?! Have you ever met people who envy you till they lose their minds, not even having the clue what are you passing through?! Envy! Every person has experienced this feeling! If not in mature life, then certainly in childhood. But it happened or still happens! And it sucks! It’s haunting your mind and throwing you into a miserable life.

Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others.

He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.

̶  Buddha

Envy (also called invidiousness) is best defined as an emotion that "occurs when a person lacks another's (perceived) superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it." It’s not jealousy! Jealousy is the fear of losing something that one possesses to another person, while envy is the pain or frustration caused by another person having something that one does not have oneself. |wikipedia.org|

Leaving the scientific approach, envy kills you! It kills the real you and converts the real you into a pathetic human being who seem not to have anything better than ruining somebody’s life. If not stopped from the start, it can become a sort of a mental disease. Those who envy all the time and don’t have anything better to do should let themselves have that tiny drop of courage and start doing what they have always dreamt to and where stopped because of fear. An interesting part will be treating those who will start envying the way they wanted to be treated before.

It’s not about how fast you start,

it’s about how strong you finish.

Great people are willing to take risks,

small people are not willing to

because they are afraid to fail.

  ̶  Jaeson Ma

                                                                                         

Don’t envy! Live your life.

If you achieved success and happiness 
and some envy you,

still go on with working on 
your success and happiness.

Reminder! ^_^

“YOUR time is limited, 

so don't waste it 
living someone else's life. 

Don't be trapped by dogma - which is 

living with the results of other people's thinking.

 Don't let the noise of other's opinions 

drown out your own inner voice. And most important, 
have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.

They somehow already know 
what you truly want to become. 

Everything else is 
secondary.”

̶  Steve Jobs

Charlie Chaplin's letter to his daughter Geraldine!

I have found Charlie Chaplin's letter to his daughter Geraldine! But, as it wasn't in English, I worked on the translation for some days! I know it's not perfect, but I wanted to share it as soon as possible! It's just so very beautiful! ^_^

My girl, 

Now it is night. One Christmas night. All the armed warriors of my little fortress fell asleep. Your brother and your sister are sleeping. Even your mother is sleeping now. On my way to this half-lighted room, I was on the verge to wake up the sleeping chicks.

How far away you are from me! But may I become blind if your image is not always in front of my eyes. Your picture is here on the table and here, near my heart. But where are you? There in the fairy Paris dancing on a grand theatrical stage from Champs Elysees. I know this very well, though it seems to me that in the silence of the night I hear footsteps, see your eyes that shine like stars in the winter sky. I hear you acting in this festive and illuminated play the role of the Persian beauty who is in the captivity of Tatar khan. Be beautiful and dance! Be a star and shine! But if the enthusiasm and gratitude of the audience makes you drunk, if the scent of flowers gave to you swallow your head, then sit in a little corner and read my letter, listen to the voice of your heart.

I am your father, Geraldine!

I’m Charlie, Charlie Chaplin!

Do you know how many nights I sat near your crib when you were a baby, telling you the tale of Sleeping Beauty, watchful dragon? And when the sleep came to rest my eyes, I laughed at him and said: “Go away! My sleep, these are my daughter's dreams!“ I saw your dreams, Geraldine, have seen your future and your present day. I saw a girl playing on the stage, a fairy dancing in the sky. I heard the crowd say: “See that girl? She's the daughter of an old fool. Remember? His name was Charlie.”

Yes! I’m Charlie! I am an old fool!

Today is your turn. Dance! I danced in large tattered pants and you dance in a silk dress of a princess. These dances and the sound of applause will rise you into heaven sometimes. Fly! Fly over there! But come back on earth too! You should see people's lives, the lives of the street dancers who dance shivering of cold and hunger. I was like them, Geraldine! During those nights, those magical nights when you fall asleep, lulled by my stories, I was awake. I looked at your face, listened to your heart beats and asked myself: "Charley, will this kitten ever know you?" You do not know me, Geraldine... I retold you many tales in those nights, but my tale - never. But it's also interesting. This is a tale about a hungry buffoon, who sang and danced in the slums of London, and then collected alms... This is my story! I got to know what hunger is and what is like not to have a roof over your head. More than that, I experienced the humiliating pain of a wanderer-jester, who had in his chest a raging ocean of pride and this pride was painfully wounded by those tossed coins. And yet I am alive, so let's leave this.

Let's better talk about you!

After your name - Geraldine - comes my name Chaplin. With this name I have amused people all over for over forty years. But I cried more than they were laughing! Geraldine, in the world you live there is not only dance and music!

At midnight, when you come out from the huge hall, you can forget about rich fans, but do not forget to ask the taxi driver, who will carry you home, about his wife. And if she is pregnant, if they do not have money for diapers for their future child, put some money in his pocket. I told the bank to pay you these expenses. But to all the others pay strictly on the account. From time to time use the subway or the bus, walk on foot and explore the city. Look at people! Look at widows and orphans! And at least once per day say to yourself: “I am just like them!” 

Yes! You are one of them, my girl. Moreover! The art before giving wings to a person, so one could fly up, usually breaks one's legs. And if someday you will find yourself feeling more important than your audience, leave the scene. Catch the first taxi and visit the neighborhood of Paris. I know it very well! There you will see a lot of dancers just like you and even more beautiful, graceful, and with more pride. The dazzling limelight from your theater will not be there at all. The moon is their floodlight. Look! Look carefully! Don't they dance better than you? Admit it, my girl! There is always somebody who dances better than you, who is playing better than you! And remember, in the Charlie's family there never was any rude person who would use uncensored lexicon for a cab driver or laugh of a beggar who sits on the bank of the Seine...

I will die, but you will live… I want you to never know what poverty is! With this letter I am sending you a check book so you could spend as you wish. But when you spend two francs, do not forget to remind yourself that the third coin is not yours. It must belong to a stranger who needs it. And you can find this person easily. One has only to want to see these poor strangers and you'll meet them everywhere. I'm talking to you about money because I got to know their devilish power.

You know, I spent a long time at the circus and was always very worried about funambulists (funambulist - an acrobat who performs on a tightrope or slack rope). But I must tell you that people fall more often on solid ground rather than a funambulist from a wire rope. Perhaps on one of the soirees you will be blinded by the spark of a diamond. Right in that time, it will become a dangerous rope for you and the fall will be inevitable for you. Maybe one day you will be captured by the handsome face of a prince. On the same day, you will become an inexperienced funambulist and inexperienced ones always fall. Do not sell your heart for gold and jewels. Know that the hugest diamond is the Sun. Fortunately, it shines for all.

And when the time comes, and you will love, then love that man with all my heart. I told your mother to write to you about it. She understands in love more than I do and it's better for her to talk to you about it.

Your job is very difficult. I know that. Your body is covered only with a piece of silk. For the sake of art, one can appear on stage even naked, but when coming back from there you should be not only dressed but even purer. But nothing and no one else in this world deserves to see even the nails of a girl's feet. Nakedness is a disease of our time.

I am old and my words might sound funny. But, in my opinion, your naked body should belong to the one who falls in love with your naked soul. Do not be afraid if your opinion upon this subject belongs to a decade ago. Do not worry! This decade will not age you. But as it is, I want you to be the last person who is subject of the naked island!

I know that fathers and children are in an eternal fight. Fight with me, with my thoughts, my girl! I do not like obedient children. And while from my eyes no tears are running as I am writing this, I want to believe that today's Christmas night will be the night of miracles. I wish a miracle happen and you really understand everything that I wanted to tell you.

Charlie is older already, Geraldine! Sooner or later, instead of white silk on the scene, you will have to wear black to come to my grave. Now I do not want to upset you. Only from time to time look into the mirror, there you will see my features. Even when the blood in my veins is cool, I don't want you to forget your father - Charlie. I'm not an angel, but always aspired to be a man. Try it and you.

I kiss you, Geraldine.

Yours,

Charlie.

More than words!

SOURCE: LINK

Did you know 

God doesn't 

expect you to pray the same way 

everyone else does?

God may intend for prayer to be an easy, natural way of staying in touch with Him - like having a conversation with a very close friend. But not so many people see prayer as being that simple. In fact, many have difficulty maintaining a strong, consistent prayer life because they're stuck believing what others may have told them. Thus, people feel guilty, condemned, bored and frustrated.

"God's mad at you. He's not answering your 

prayers right now."

"You shouldn't pray for that because there are a lot 

of people who have bigger problems than yours."

"You never pray long or hard enough for it to 

really make a difference."

"You don't even know how to talk to God - your 

prayers are useless."

The fact is, every time we pray in faith, God answers. He wants our prayer life to be fulfilling and exciting and full of hopeful expectation. One can have great freedom and creativity in his/her prayer life - but it's necessary to stay focused on God and His promises, not lies of "others".

the first Step to 

amazing Prayer

The most important key to effective prayer is approaching God as His friend. If we don't know Him as a friend and we're not confident of His affection for us, we will be reluctant to tell Him what we need or ask Him for anything.

On the other hand, when we go boldly before God, believing that He uses us as a friend, our prayers become more honest and effective. Talk to Him in the grocery store, while you're driving your car, combing your hair, walking the dog, or cooking dinner. The idea is to let God out of your Sunday-morning box so He can become a bigger part of your life.

it's important 

to Be Yourself

Do you know God doesn't expect you to pray the same way everyone else does?! God is far too creative to teach every person to interact with Him in the same way. He designed us all differently and delights in our uniqueness. We can approach God just the way we are - with our very own personality and style. God knows your weaknesses and he knows you make mistakes - and He doesn't expect you to be anything different than what you are. 

Just start talking to God - 

anytime, 

anywhere, 

about everything.

| Joyce Meyer

3 stories of Steve Jobs!

SOURCE: LINK

'You've got 

to find what you 

love,' 

- Steve Jobs

This is a prepared text of the Commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

SOURCE: LINK

"Falling Apart For The Good" by Jaeson Ma

SOURCE: LINK

I've read a post that left me like this: "WOW!!!" JUST AWESOME!

"Sometimes in life you can’t understand why things happen when they happen. This season of my life has definitely been the best and the worst. All the things I've ever dreamed of or wanted have been given and taken away. Everything that could go right has suddenly gone wrong. But you know, weirdest thing is I have so much peace about it all. I used to bug out when things went wrong in my life, instead, I guess as you grow older you begin to realize that bad things are sometimes the best things that could ever happen to you. God many times will allow everything in your life to fall apart just to remind you that the things of this world that we are so desperately dependent upon are really not that important. Instead what is important is many times not understood till we are ridden of these other distractions. There are so many things that we think we need so bad when in actuality we need so little.


We get so caught up in what we need to do that we forget where we are and who we are. We are not human doings, we are human beings. The being part is what I think most of us have the most difficulty with. What does it mean to just be? To be yourself and not care what others think. It is easy to say that but it is not easy to be that. It is that kind of courage to be your true self, flaws and all that makes people shine in this world, that meaning those who are not afraid to be imperfect. The problem with religion, the problem I find many times with Christian culture is we expect people to be perfect when it is impossible to do so. This is what makes Christians unrelatable to the world. Human beings can not relate to perfection, they relate to imperfection. We connect through pain not perfection. Compassion can be expressed when there is pain that is felt. Life is not meant to be lived perfectly it is meant to be lived fully. When we expect ourselves and others to be perfect we rob ourselves of life, we end up getting caught up in shame, guilt, fear, control and isolation. We end up faking rather than truly living. We end up living behind pretentious masks that we create that keep us from being who we really are. I think this is what irritates me about Christian radio at times because the only songs that are played are in the same key, same chords, same words and same message …. The message isn't untrue, it is the truth, but where is the human element, where is the pain, the suffering, the confusion, the discourse, the vulnerability, the authenticity, the passion? Why is it all so predictable? Why is it that I relate sometimes more to 2pac, Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, Kurt Cobain, Otis Redding than I do most of the artists on Christian radio? This is why I love King David and the book of Psalms, it is REAL. You can feel and relate to David’s highs and lows, the dude is the farthest thing from perfect yet he loves God with all his heart, soul, strength and mind. That’s what I’m talking about, that’s the song that I want to hear and I can relate to. It is life’s poetry that keeps us intimately interested, it is expecting the unexpected, the ups and downs, the tapestry of human experience that fills our worlds with color. King David was not a human doing, nor was he just a human being, he was a human LIVING. In today’s Christian church standards he would be written off as a sinner, not to be trusted, never to minister, but I wonder if David is exactly the kind of person that God chooses to use for His glory? Cause at the end of the day it isn't about how perfect we are but it is about how perfect His love is. You see, religion brings man glory, religion to me is the need to be or the effort to be perfect, it leads to rules, regulations, and bondage. But you see, grace brings God glory, it is focused on how good God is not how good we are, grace or getting what we don’t deserve is a gift from God that shows imperfect humans just how glorious, loving and amazing our God is. Amazing grace how sweet the sound…that saved a wretch like me. Grace is a sweet sound that is so seldom sung, so rarely talked about now a days. I am far from perfect, I am a work in progress, but you know, my goal is not to be perfect in life but my goal is to be grateful in life. Love is the greatest motivator for change. If this is true than love is my religion. I don’t follow rules, I don’t follow the opinions of man, I follow Jesus. Can I be vulnerable here? True courage comes when we are not afraid to truly be ourselves, when we stop living someone else’s life and we begin to follow our heart. I've lost a lot recently, but man, I feel more free than ever and I thank God for it. I’m older but I feel younger. I’m hurt but I feel alive. I've lost but I’ve gained. I have nothing and it is in this moment I feel like I have everything. It is a great feeling to not be afraid. To be able to be imperfect and know that you belong still and are accepted. To realize no matter what you do or don’t do right or wrong that God understands and loves you the same either way. Mmm, I feel good cause right now I feel God. Sometimes in life you can’t understand why things happen when they happen. This season of my life has definitely been the best and the worst. All the things I’ve ever dreamed of or wanted have been given and taken away. Everything that could go right has suddenly gone wrong. But you know, weirdest thing is I have so much peace about it all. I used to bug out when things went wrong in my life, instead, I guess as you grow older you begin to realize that bad things are sometimes the best things that could ever happen to you. 


God many times will allow everything in your life to fall apart just to remind you that the things of this world that we are so desperately dependent upon are really not that important. Instead what is important is many times not understood till we are ridden of these other distractions. There are so many things that we think we need so bad when in actuality we need so little. We get so caught up in what we need to do that we forget where we are and who we are. We are not human doings, we are human beings. The being part is what I think most of us have the most difficulty with. What does it mean to just be? To be yourself and not care what others think. It is easy to say that but it is not easy to be that. It is that kind of courage to be your true self, flaws and all that makes people shine in this world, that meaning those who are not afraid to be imperfect. The problem with religion, the problem I find many times with Christian culture is we expect people to be perfect when it is impossible to do so. This is what makes Christians un relatable to the world. Human beings can not relate to perfection, they relate to imperfection. We connect through pain not perfection. Compassion can be expressed when there is pain that is felt. Life is not meant to be lived perfectly it is meant to be lived fully. When we expect ourselves and others to be perfect we rob ourselves of life, we end up getting caught up in shame, guilt, fear, control and isolation. We end up faking rather than truly living. We end up living behind pretentious masks that we create that keep us from being who we really are. I think this is what irritates me about Christian radio at times because the only songs that are played are in the same key, same chords, same words and same message... The message isn’t untrue, it is the truth, but where is the human element, where is the pain, the suffering, the confusion, the discourse, the vulnerability, the authenticity, the passion? Why is it all so predictable? Why is it that I relate sometimes more to 2pac, Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, Kurt Cobain, Otis Redding than I do most of the artists on Christian radio? This is why I love King David and the book of Psalms, it is REAL. You can feel and relate to David’s highs and lows, the dude is the farthest thing from perfect yet he loves God with all his heart, soul, strength and mind. That’s what I’m talking about, that’s the song that I want to hear and I can relate to. It is life’s poetry that keeps us intimately interested, it is expecting the unexpected, the ups and downs, the tapestry of human experience that fills our worlds with color. King David was not a human doing, nor was he just a human being, he was a human LIVING. 


In today’s Christian church standards he would be written off as a sinner, not to be trusted, never to minister, but I wonder if David is exactly the kind of person that God chooses to use for His glory? Cause at the end of the day it isn’t about how perfect we are but it is about how perfect His love is. You see, religion brings man glory, religion to me is the need to be or the effort to be perfect, it leads to rules, regulations, and bondage. But you see, grace brings God glory, it is focused on how good God is not how good we are, grace or getting what we don’t deserve is a gift from God that shows imperfect humans just how glorious, loving and amazing our God is. Amazing grace how sweet the sound…that saved a wretch like me. Grace is a sweet sound that is so seldom sung, so rarely talked about now a days. I am far from perfect, I am a work in progress, but you know, my goal is not to be perfect in life but my goal is to be grateful in life. Love is the greatest motivator for change. If this is true than love is my religion. I don’t follow rules, I don’t follow the opinions of man, I follow Jesus. Can I be vulnerable here? True courage comes when we are not afraid to truly be ourselves, when we stop living someone else’s life and we begin to follow our heart. I’ve lost a lot recently, but man, I feel more free than ever and I thank God for it. I’m older but I feel younger. I’m hurt but I feel alive. I’ve lost but I’ve gained. I have nothing and it is in this moment I feel like I have everything. It is a great feeling to not be afraid. To be able to be imperfect and know that you belong still and are accepted. To realize no matter what you do or don’t do right or wrong that God understands and loves you the same either way. Mmm, I feel good cause right now I feel God."